Why?
by devilwentdown
Summary: Set post rain of fire. Totally Au. What happened to everyone......UPDATED 2 NEW CHAPTERS! Isobel find some of the answers she's been looking for in Cordelia's diary
1. Default Chapter

Set: post rain of fire but before angel becomes angelus.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the show but I do own Ben and I do own Isobel.  
  
*****Nine months in the future********  
  
Fred gripped onto Gunn's hand as she screamed in agony. The doctors encouraged her, promising just one more push and it would all be over. Gunn held on to Fred's hand and wished he didn't feel so useless. The doctor pulled out the child and called it's a boy. Fred collapsed back on the bed and cried. Gunn stared at his son taking his first breath and then screaming as loudly as he could. He was a father.  
  
***********Eighteen years later**************  
  
Gunn woke up with a start. He was asleep on a chair in the lobby of the hotel. He checked his watch, half four in the morning and Ben still wasn't home. He stretched out in his chair and tried calling Ben's cell phone for the hundredth time. The same answering machine message. He didn't bother even leaving a message. He'd already left six tonight. He pulled himself off the chair and climbed up the stairs to the fourth floor. His and Fred's floor. A self contained apartment. They had intended moving out after Ben was born, to give him a nice, normal childhood but they never got around to it. And now they couldn't imagine living anywhere else. He pushed open the door to his bedroom and fell down on the bed to go to sleep. Fred mumbled a little and wrapped her arms around him. *********************************************************** Ben watched his father climb the stairs, his finger to his lips telling his girlfriend to be silent. Isobel rolled her eyes and ran her hands through her short blonde hair. She checked her watch, gone half four. She should ring her dad and tell him she wasn't coming home but then he'd argue and yell. It was easier just to do things this way. Ben slipped the door open and held it open for his girlfriend of four months. They slipped quietly up to the fourth floor. Ben had converted part of it for his room, four old rooms knocked together and a separate bathroom. He was lucky that Angel had him let do it. Isobel crept quietly behind her boyfriend. She'd never been to his room before or even into the hotel. He usually came to her apartment. She wondered how many people lived here. She knew that Ben and his parents did, his uncle Angel and some guy called Lorne. Not that she had met any of them. Ben claimed that they'd just try and break them up if they found out. She didn't mind too much it's not like he'd met her dad, but she had good reasons. He'd probably threaten to kill the boy who was corrupting his little girl. They got to the fourth floor and Ben laughed out loud 'They can't hear us up here.' He told her. 'Good' Isobel smiled and pushed him back onto his bed.  
  
****************************************************  
  
Angel got up early and went downstairs for his blood. As usual no one else was up and he went online to read the paper. At eight o' clock he climbed up to Ben's room and knocked on the door. 'Out of bed Ben! You have to get to college.' He yelled. No answer. Angel pushed the door open to check if he was even in there but he had been sure he'd heard him creep in after his dad went to bed. Ben wasn't in his bed but a girl was. 'He's in the shower. I'm Isobel. And do you mind leaving so I can get dressed?' she smiled at the stranger in the doorway, keeping her voice controlled trying not to go red. 'Sorry sorry I didn't know' Angel spluttered as he backed out of the room. Isobel climbed out of bed and pulled her clothes on, she grabbed her bag and pulled out a stake. 'Ben I'm off I have to get home to change before my first lecture' she called in the door. 'I'll see you for lunch at the pod.'  
  
Isobel walked down the hallway. She paused and listened. The vampire had gone downstairs. Why couldn't she have anytime off? She followed quietly. Better to do this fast before any trouble starts. She got to the top of the flight of stairs leading to the lobby. He was halfway down the stair case. She kicked off her shoes. She jumped and placed a kick into the middle of his back. He wasn't expecting it and fell flat on his face. She pulled her stake out of her pocket and jumped on top of him, intending to stake him in the back. He rolled out of the way, quick as lightening. She landed on her feet. 'I don't have time for this to take all day. So just be a good little vamp and stay still so I can stake you.' Isobel smiled 'It won't hurt a bit.' 'Hey I've got a soul and who do you think you are coming into my home and trying to stake me?' Angel pulled back and grabbed a sword to defend himself. 'Of course you have a soul, they all do. I don't care. I kill bad things. You are a vamp also known as a bad thing.' Isobel lunged at him. She knocked the sword of his hand and punched him into the face. Angel fell to the floor. Isobel lifted her arm to stake him straight into the heart. He twisted her around so that he had be arms behind her back. 'Now I don't think you're listening to me. You are not going to stake me. What are you? The slayer.' He grabbed a piece and rope and tied her hands up deftly. 'No, I'm not the slayer. I'm a slayer. There are rather a lot of us you know.' Isobel ripped the roped apart, and prepared to attack again.  
  
'Stop!' Ben ran down the stairs. 'What's going on?' 'Your little girlfriend is trying to stake me.' Angel answered. 'Hello? He's a vampire. You know bad evil thing that kills.' Isobel answered. 'I presume you know that they exist seeming you live with one.' 'That's my uncle Angel.' Ben stated. 'I presume that's an honouree title?' she spat back at him. 'Yes it is and since when did you got all monster killer? You're majoring in history not demonology.' He yelled at her. 'I'm out of here. Don't call.' Isobel grabbed her purse and her shoes 'And I faked it!' she held her head up high and walked out. *******************************************************  
  
Ben looked at Angel. Angel looked back at him. 'Why does everything about my life have to be so complicated?' Ben asked. 'Because life is. Where did you find her?' Angel asked, stretching him arm. It hurt like hell. 'We have classes together at college. She seemed so nice and ordinary.' Ben sat on the steps and looked dejected. 'Why don't I make you breakfast?' Angel offered, not sure what the protocol was when your nephew's girlfriend tries to kill you. 'Not hungry. I'd better get going to classes.' Ben stood and walked out the door.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Isobel walked into her apartment and collapsed onto her sofa. 'Where the bloody hell have you been all night? I was worried sick. You could have been lying dead somewhere for all I knew?' Her dad yelled at her. 'Oh shut up dad. I've just had the worst night of my life so can you just leave me alone?' Isobel burst into tears and spilled the story to her dad, leaving out the bit where she slept with Ben. He wrapped his arms around his little girl and rocked her back and forth until her tears subsided and she fell asleep. He picked her up gently and carried her into her bedroom. He pulled her shoes off and placed a blanket around her. Then he grabbed his sword and went to sort out everything for her. 'Stop dad' Isobel called from her room 'I can sort this out on my own.'  
  
********** Two weeks later*******************************  
  
Isobel sat in the club listening to a green sprite singing 'Don't know why' in a high, squeaky voice. She giggled, her dad was ordering at the bar. He brought her back an orange juice. 'Why don't you go up and sing?' he asked. 'Because I'll be laughed out of here.' Isobel smiled at him. 'Please pet do it for your old man.' He encouraged her. 'Okay, any requests?' she inquired. 'Anything you want to sing love.' He watched her walk to the karaoke machine and sighed. It was underhanded getting her read this way but he needed to know what her future held.  
  
Ben and Angel walked in the door of Caritas. Lorne waved over at them and beckoned them towards his post at the bar.  
  
Isobel started to sing.  
  
My beloved monster and me we go everywhere together wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves get us through all kinds of weather She will always be the only thing that comes between me and the awful sting that comes from living in a world that's so damn mean My beloved monster is tough if she wants she could disrobe you but if you lay her down for a kiss her little heart it would explode.  
  
Isobel sang and smiled as she remembered her dad singing this to her mom. Lorne collapsed onto the floor. Ben ran towards the stage. Isobel ran off. The backing track continued to play. Isobel's dad ran to the bar to Lorne. He knew that Isobel could take care of herself. Angel looked up at him. 'Spike.'  
  
A/N: The song is 'My beloved monster and me' by the Eels. 


	2. 2

Okay so I didn't want to give the last cliff-hanger away by saying that this is a cross over. Season seven of Buffy happened but Spike didn't die and Buffy managed to save Anya when she was leaving. Thank you Tariq and Cordianne for the reviews! This isn't going to be really B/A or A/C, though. It will make more sense if you just read it with an open mind!  
  
*********************************************************** 'I need to know what he saw.' Spike shook Lorne. 'What the hell are you doing here and give me one good reason why I should kill you?' Angel shoved him back, away from Lorne. 'Listen peaches I got my soul back about nineteen years ago so I'm just like you. Sorry for torturing you the last time we met but I have more important things on my mind. I need to know what he saw when he read Isobel.' Spike bent down over Lorne. 'You know that girl?' Angel questioned squatting down too. 'Yeah that's my little girl.' He said with a smile 'Well not biologically but I've been looking after her since the day she was born and that gives me the right to watch her back.' 'You taught her how to fight?' Angel asked. 'Yeah she's a natural, slayer genes came built in. Why are you the vamp she attacked?' 'Yes I should have known that she knew you. She fought dirty..' Angel shook Lorne. 'You can blame Faith for that not me.' He answered. Lorne started to come around. Angel pulled him up and into a chair. 'What did you see?' He asked. 'Slow down there, Angel cakes give me a second to take a breath.' Lorne looked at Spike. 'You did a good job raising that little hell cat.' He said with a smile. 'What did you see?' asked Spike. 'I saw everything. From the moment she was born, every touch, taste experience. That's what the PTB wanted.' He answered 'Nothing of the future though. Just up to a few minutes ago.'  
  
********************************************************  
  
Isobel kept running out of the back of the club. She looked around and jumped up onto a fire escape. She paused and listened. She could hear Ben's footsteps on the ground below her. 'Isobel can we talk?' Ben called into the darkness, he didn't even know if she could hear him. 'Isobel come out, come out where ever you are!' he called again. Isobel jumped down from the roof of the building. 'What do you have to say to me?' she asked, holding her arms across her chest. 'Just.erm.why didn't you call me? He asked 'Why didn't you call me? You were the one with all the explaining to do.' 'You never said that you were a slayer.' He yelled. 'You never asked and you never told me your "uncle" was a vampire.' Isobel shot back. 'Now I'm going to go in and find my dad and go home. Goodbye Ben.' She held her head up and walked back into the club.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
'So, who are her real parents?' asked Angel. 'Buffy and I raised her, we are her parents as far as she's concerned and nothing is going to change that.' Spike answered. 'But why would you just take in a child that you knew nothing about? Why not give her to social services? It doesn't make sense.' 'Buffy knew Isobel's biological mother and felt a sense of duty. That's it. Nothing more.' Spike stood up to leave. 'Okay Spike I think you should tell Angel cakes here the whole truth or I will.' Lorne threatened him. 'What? there is no more truth, at least no more he needs to know.' 'Angel' Lorne began 'Isobel is Cordelia's daughter.' 'He didn't need to know that!' Spike yelled. 'It makes no difference now. I am her father, Buffy was her mother. Nothing else matters.' 'Conor was the father then and that's why she left after the rain of fire.' It all began to fall into place in Angel's mind 'Which makes Isobel my grand daughter.'  
  
*********************************************************** Isobel listened in the corner. She had always known that she was adopted. It had never really bothered her, she had two loving parents and after her mother died her dad had looked after her. But now, now she was this guy's grand daughter. She wasn't even sure how this all worked. She stepped out of the shadows. 'Tell me everything Dad. I need to know.' Spike jumped, startled at his daughter's sudden appearance. 'Are you sure love?' 'Start at the start.'  
  
**********************************************************  
  
'Buffy and I found Cordelia when we were out patrolling one night in San Francisco. That's where we went after Sunnydale was destroyed. She was in the last stages of labour. We were shocked Buffy hadn't seen Cordelia in years and there she was. She was crying a lot and wouldn't let us call a doctor. She just kept saying that she had to keep her baby safe. She wouldn't tell who she was afraid of. When Isobel was born, she wouldn't even hold her. She just asked us to take care of her and she pulled out a gun and shot herself in the head. Buffy and I didn't know what to do. Cordelia obviously didn't want to be found, so we brought her out to where Buffy had been buried and we buried her there. We didn't tell anyone and when everyone asked where Isobel had come from, we just said she was a gift. No one ever came looking for Cordelia and when Isobel was stronger as a child than normal, we presumed that she was one of the slayers. We used that to explain everything, even when she ripped the door of her room when she was five. It's what we wanted to believe.' Spike sat down again 'She was our little girl' he turned to Isobel 'We loved you.' 'I know dad.' Isobel turned to Angel 'Do you know anything more about this?' 'Cordy left after it rained fire. I confronted her because she..she slept with my son, Conor. I was angry. When we came back from looking for the beast she was gone she just left a note saying not to come looking for her. We just respected her wishes. What other choice did we have?' Isobel stood 'I need to be alone for a while this is all too much.' She walked out head high. 'That's my girl' smiled Spike 'She was always less impulsive than me or Buffy, something of you Angel, I suppose.'  
  
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	3. 3

*******************The next day*****************  
  
Isobel pushed the door of the hotel open and looked around. She wasn't even sure what she was doing here or of who she was looking for. 'Hello?' Fred came out of the office 'Can I help you?' 'I don't know...I guess I'm looking for Angel.' Isobel answered, looking Ben's mother up and down. She was younger than she thought she'd be. 'I'm sorry, he's gone out. Can I help?' she asked smiling. 'No, I just...can you ask him if he'll call me to talk about Cordelia? I'll leave you my number.' Isobel pulled a pen out of her pocket. 'What do you want to know about her? She hasn't been here in years. She left when times got hard.' Fred stared at Isobel. 'I'm her daughter. Angel said that he knew her and I wanted to find out more about her. That's all' Isobel answered. 'I can tell you anything you need to know. I knew her very well.' Fred answered defensively. 'I just wanted to know what she was like, what she did for fun. That sort of stuff, my dad doesn't know anything really... my adoptive dad I mean.' Isobel began to write her number on a piece of paper. 'She never told me she was pregnant. She didn't tell any of us. We were her friends, her family for all intents and purposes and she never told us. She just left one day, a curt note telling us not to come after her.' Fred sat down, looking defeated as the memories rushed back to her. 'And then I found out I was pregnant and I couldn't tell her, the guys tried to understand but sometimes a girl needs her best friend.' 'What was she like?' Isobel sat down beside Fred. 'She was lovely, impulsive, a total clothes horse and incredibly kind. She didn't judge you. And she took care of everyone. She forced me to shop, heated Angel's blood every morning, topped up the mini bar for Lorne, stopped Gunn from being too gung hoe and prevented Wes from becoming a hermit. She was so open about everything....but I guess not when it came down to the line.' Fred sighed and looked at Isobel. 'You have her eyes and her grace but your colouring must have come from Darla.' 'Who's Darla?' asked Isobel. 'Your grandmother, she was a vampire as well. I presume that your Conor's daughter.' Fred said looking at Isobel again. 'Yes, I am but I know even less about him then I do about Cordelia.' Isobel admitted. 'Why don't I take you up to her room? The day she left Angel was so mad he locked the door and we never went in their again.' Fred stood and began to walk up the stairs.  
  
********************************************************** Angel stood outside the door of Cordelia's room, listening. 'Oh my god these are vintage Jimmy Choo's! do you know how rare these are? She had great taste.' Isobel exclaimed. 'Cordy loved to shop, I remember her telling me one time when Angel upset her he made it up to her by spending about $3000 on clothes and shoes for her.' Fred laughed. 'I'm sorry everything is so dusty in here'. 'It's okay. I wonder if I can find her diary or anything, maybe it would tell me what she was thinking when she left, why she killed herself.' Isobel began to search through the drawers. Fred wandered around and found a picture of Cordelia. 'Here why don't you have this picture. It was taken when we were going to the opera one night. That's Cordelia and Angel and the baby is your dad.' 'How much of a cradle snatcher was she? I knew that my dad was younger but this is just plain wrong!' Isobel took the picture from Fred. 'Conor was taken to another dimension where time passed faster so when he came back he was eighteen' Fred explained. 'That picture was taken just a few weeks before it happened.' 'Why isn't anything in my life normal or even simple. I could settle with being a slayer and my dad being a vampire but why does everything have to be so complicated?' Isobel sat down on the bed. 'Oh Conor wasn't a vampire.' Fred started to explain. 'I mean my adoptive parents' Isobel interjected. 'My dad is Spike, the other vampire with a soul and my mother was Buffy. She was a slayer as well.' 'Angel's ex-girlfriend raised you?' Fred was in shock. 'My mom dated Angel, my grandfather. How fucked up is that?' Isobel sighed. 'Anymore surprises to tell me? My grandfather dated my mother, my birth mother changed my birth father's nappies and my grandparents were vampires.' 'I probably shouldn't tell you this but.. You'll find out eventually anyway. Angel was in love with Cordelia and she was in love with him.' Fred sighed 'That's why he got so mad, and probably why she left.' 'But if she was in love with Angel than why did she sleep with his son? And it still doesn't explain why she killed herself.' Isobel stood and began to pace the room. 'I need a break is it okay if I come back tomorrow and look around some more?' Isobel asked. 'Sure it is. You're welcome here anytime.' Fred stood 'I'll walk you out.'  
  
Angel had already melted away into the shadows of the hotel by the time they exited the room.  
  
***********************************************************  
  
'Dad I'm back' Isobel yelled as she walked into the apartment. She looked around and found him napping on the sofa. She pulled a blanket around him and headed to her room to read Cordelia's diary. She had found two of them but didn't want to read them in front of Fred. Diaries were private, even if the author was dead.  
  
*********************************************************** Angel sang to himself as he cooked dinner. It was discovered a long time ago that he was the only one with any culinary talent. He was working on auto-drive, making fajitas, Ben's favourites. He was thinking about Cordelia and Isobel. At long last he had a family again and he still didn't know how to act about it. When Cordelia left it had been soul destroying, then Conor died trying to kill the beast and Wes died trying to save him. It had been the worst year, things eventually cheered up a bit when Ben was born. And now he was the only person in the hotel who was happy, truly happy any of the time. He didn't know how he felt. Cordelia had promised to stay with him until the end and she broke that promise. He probably would have been able to forgive her for sleeping with Conor. Given time he could have forgiven her anything. But she didn't trust him enough to give him a chance. Instead she left him and allowed his grand daughter to be raised by Spike of all people and Buffy. She trusted them to care for Isobel and she couldn't even trust him to know she existed. He felt betrayed. *********************************************************** 


	4. 4

Isobel lay on her bed reading the diaries. One of them was normal, it was just her talking about her everyday life. It was a decoy. The second began just when she had gotten her memory back after being a higher power.  
  
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Dear diary, I love Angel. It's official as soon as I got my memory back and I saw him. I knew that I loved him more than anything or anyone else. I can't have him and it's killing me. I was sent back for a reason. Conor is going to die and there is nothing I can do to stop that but Angel must have a living heir if he is to regain his soul permanently. I have to give Angel an heir and that means I have to sleep with Conor. I wanted to just sleep with Angel and have a little girl with his eyes and my hair and my nose because his is a little big for a girl. But I can't always, make that ever, have what I want. If I sleep with Angel then he will turn into Angelus and then he will be as good as dead. Instead I have to sleep with Conor. I have to help Angel. I promised him that I'd be there in the end. Now I will be.  
  
Dear Diary, I want Angel to hate me. It will make things so much easier. I keep leaving the hotel and spending time with Conor and I know that it hurts Angel. But when I'm with Conor, trying to bring myself to do the deed all I can think about is Angel. My Angel, the one that I want. He's being so nice to me. It makes it so much harder.  
  
Dear Diary, The beast has come. I don't have much time. I know that he will kill Conor and I have to be pregnant before that. I wish I could tell Angel, make him understand but I can't. I can't even hug him because when I do all I want is to kiss him and be with him. I can't be and it's killing me.  
  
Dear Diary, The deed is done and I hate myself. All I could do was pretend it was Angel and afterwards I just wanted to cry. I wanted to cry for myself, for Conor, for Angel, for everyone in this stupid mess. Angel knows. The way he looked at me. He was so hurt, disappointed, furious, defeated. I wish I could tell him but I know what I must do now. I have to leave, get away so that no one knows I'm pregnant. If they do I'll be killed, anyone who knows the prophecies knows that this baby is special. They will know what she can do. I keep thinking that the baby is a girl. It's strange I can't even feel her move and yet I know that she's there. I don't know where I'm going to go. I need somewhere to hide out until I'm nearly ready to give birth. The child has to be protected and I know that the only person who can do that is Buffy. I know that we never got along or hell I don't even like that girl very much but I know that she has the power to protect this child. That was proved with Dawn. Other people around Buffy will protect my baby too. Willow is pretty powerful and Xander is full of good intentions. My baby will be safe there. Safe when no one knows who she really is.  
  
Dear Diary, This is it and I've only just started writing in you. I leave today, when no one is around. I'm not even sure where to go, if I go to Buffy too soon she'll tell Angel or she'll convince me that I can protect my baby. I'm not idiotic enough to believe that but I don't know if I could cope with their pity. I know I have to give her up, and by dying after I do that she'll be safe. If I just disappear they'll find me eventually, or everyone here in L.A will find out about her. I know that Angel will want her, once he gets over how she was conceived. But he can't have her until she's old enough to know her own mind, to know what she is to be on her own, so that she isn't pulled into this murky world unless she wants to be a part of it. All I want is for her to be safe. She is the best of me, even if no one will know that she is my one legacy. She, I just know the baby is a girl, is my gift to Angel, to this world. I pray that she will never know about all these expectations because more than anything I want my child to be safe and to be free. Freer than everyone else who knows that they have a destiny, like Buffy. I want my child to be happier than I was. Or even as happy as I was before all of this came about when I was able to convince myself that Angel and I could be together. Before I ascended life was complicated but I could handle it. With Angel's help I could handle anything that was thrown at me. I miss him, I miss the faith and trust he had in me. I miss the strength I got from just knowing that he was there, always watching my back.  
  
To whom ever, if anyone ever, reads this, I'm more than likely already dead so read this and take from it what you will. You probably think I'm insane but this short diary is the only acknowledgement of why I did what I did. I ask you to either show this to who you think will benefit from it and then destroy it. I would have but I don't have the strength to leave no record of my reasoning behind. I hope that one day my Angel will read this and understand why I had to hurt him and how much it hurt me in return. I want him to know that is was my one true love, no one else even came close.  
Cordelia Chase.  
  
**************************************  
  
Isobel sat and her heart broke. It was so short it had taken her minutes to read but it had told her so much. Her mother had loved her. It was vague on the details though. What was coming? What did she have to do with anything? What prophecies? Giles had never told her of any pertaining to her future. But then he didn't have the full details. Her mother had been dead for years what was she supposed to do with this diary. If she gave it to Angel would it just bring everything back to him, would it hurt him all over again or would it give him a sense of peace. Isobel sat. And then she sat some more. She was only young she didn't know what to do. Then she fell asleep. 


	5. 5

Isobel woke with a start. There were voices in the apartment, ones other than her father's. She crept silently to the door, grabbing an axe on the way. She pressed her ear to the door and listened.  
  
'Come on Spike once the sex goes stale in a relationship what else is there? Honestly, without sex the whole thing just becomes annoying and needy and I hate the whole interdependence thing.' Faith collapsed down onto the sofa. 'Faith, pet you and Robin have been together for what nineteen years and now you're breaking up because you're not having enough sex?' Spike tried to get his head around it. Faith and Robin were the constant couple they never had huge fights like him and Buffy. They didn't break up whenever they had a fight like Willow and Kennedy. And they had a kid. Spike looked down at the tiny child in his arms. Sophia was only five weeks old. 'Faith did the whole lack of sex thing just happen recently? Like since Sophia was born?' Spike enquired with a sigh as he rocked the child gently in his arms. 'Yes and I don't get it!' she exclaimed. 'Could it have been that he thought you might not be ready for sex so soon after giving birth?' Spike reasoned out. 'Maybe, but that's no excuse!'. Faith shouted. Spike sighed, post pregnancy hormones he guessed. Faith, he knew, would crash here for a few nights then go home to Robin.  
  
Isobel squealed and ran out of her room into Faith's arms. 'Faithie you didn't tell me you were coming! And you brought baby Sophia!' Isobel yelled excitedly. She jumped up to look at the tiny child. Sophia slept soundly, uncaring of her mother's flight of fancy. Spike sighed again. 'Faith you can have my room and I'll take the sofa. Iso, can you go out later and find a cot from somewhere? Maybe the poof has one.' Spike sat down, still holding the baby. 'Who's the poof?' inquired Isobel. 'He's referring to Angel, your mom's ex boyfriend and the original souled vamp.' Faith explained. 'My grandfather.' Isobel said succinctly. 'Long story.' Added Spike 'A very long story.' ****************************************************  
  
Isobel and Faith walked up the steps of the hotel a little over an hour later, having left Spike on babysitting duty. 'I cannot believe that you are Queen C's daughter! Okay now that I think about it there is a slight resemblance in your height but you're blond with blue eyes!' Faith was still in shock. 'Appparently I got them from my grandmother Darla.' Answered Isobel pushing the heavy door of the hotel open. 'Never met her.' Responded Faith 'Angel's been keeping this place nice.' She commented. 'Angel?' Isobel called, uncertainly, wondering if he was even home. 'He's gone out' answered Ben, as he walked down the stairs 'Can I help?' 'Probably not, I was looking for a loan of a cot or a Moes basket or anything.' Isobel answered shyly. She didn't know how to act with Ben now. Even a week ago they had been teenagers in serious lust, maybe even love. They hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other but now everything had changed, changed utterly. Everything Isobel had thought as being certain, as unquestionable as the earth was round, had shifted. All her certainties were gone and she didn't know about Ben anymore. Perhaps she had changed too much, gone was the carefree, uncomplicated girl. She had been replaced by a girl so utterly entwined in Ben's family's history. A girl who had discovered where she came from. A girl who was confused as hell. But boy was Ben hot. He interrupted her thoughts by answering her. 'I think we still have my one in the store room. Give me a few minutes and I'll go have a look.' Ben was eager to help her 'Why don't you have a coffee or something, really just help yourselves. Ben was so distracted by the fact Isobel was standing in front of him he didn't even ask why exactly she needed a cot or who the woman was with her.  
  
As he disappeared from sight, Faith enquired about him. 'What's going on there? You could have cut the tension with a knife! And the way that boy was looking at you! You'd better be glad your dad didn't see that!' Faith pulled Isobel over to the coffee machine. 'Tell me all baby belle!' she slipped back to using Isobel's childhood nickname. 'There isn't much to tell. We kind of dated for a while but then I found out about Angel and my mother and everything and we haven't really talked or even seen each other.' Isobel sat down 'And don't call me baby belle! Do I look like red plastic wrapped cheese? I'm too old for nicknames.' 'Hey I'm your honoury aunt so you are never too old for me to call you by your nickname. It's my prerogative.' Faith teased Isobel 'Come on tell me all about it.' 'Well I mean it's not like we were in some big love affair. It was probably pretty major lust but not love. It was like we were in our own little bubble and nothing could touch us. He didn't know about all my complications and I didn't know about his and now that's gone. My life has come crashing in and destroyed whatever chance we had.' Isobel poured herself a big mug of coffee. Faith looked at her, and took a while to think. 'Well why can't you two at least try another date? I'm not saying that you declare your undying love or lust but you need to know what's going on. You need closure or you'll always wonder what would have happened...Wow did I just give good advice? Advice that doesn't involve violence? Guess this whole motherhood thing is changing me.' Faith wrapped her arms around Isobel 'Everything will be okay, trust me I'm an old slayer.' 'You're not that old!' Replied Isobel, her voice muffled by Faith's shoulder. 'Yeah I'm not old compared to Angel or Spike but to normal everyday people I'm getting old.' Faith answered 'But maybe getting older and wiser isn't such a bad thing.' 'Wiser? Faith you arrived here having left your partner of nearly twenty years just five weeks after having your first child. That's not wise, in fact it's kind of stupid.' Isobel teased Faith. 'Stop being sensible! You're not too old to be sent to your room.' Faith replied laughing.  
  
Ben returned to this happy scene, lugging the cot up the stairs from the basement. 'I found my old cot but it's fairly heavy. I could borrow my dad's car and drop it over to your apartment if you want?' he offered. 'It's okay I can carry it back.' Isobel replied, picking up the cot like it was a feather. 'No Isobel!' Faith shouted. 'What?' Isobel looked back at Faith. 'I'm certain that if Ben had a hard time carrying that cot then it will be far too heavy for a GIRL to carry across the city.' Faith placed a heavy emphasis on the word girl. 'I think it's far better if Ben drops it around later on, don't you?' It took Isobel a minute to catch on. 'Oh I suppose it would be too heavy for me to carry. Ben are you sure you don't mind dropping it over later on? It would be so nice of you.' Isobel smiled, and she remembered what she had been taught by the older slayers. Unbreakable Rule 1. Never ever act like you're strong around guys you like. Let them think that they are strong and all that so you don't dent their delicate egos. Unbreakable Rule 2. Act like you're scared at horror movies even if you see more blood on a daily basis than is used in the entire movie. Unbreakable Rule 3. never, ever EVER let them find out that you could kill them in less than three seconds.  
  
Maybe, thought Isobel, if I try and stick to them I'll have a shot at getting him back. Even if it means I have to flick my hair and bat my eyelids. I mean it can't be that hard to keep up the pretence that I'm a nice, normal girl who just kills demons in her spare time. Isobel felt Faith link her arm and lead her out of the hotel. 'Bye Ben!' Faith yelled happily, as Siable realised that she still had the diary in her bag. Not that she had any idea what to do with it. 


End file.
